Whey hello my gorgeous CMR supporting friend.

Whether we’re new friends or old friends, I want you to know a few things that I hope will keep us all on the same page.

1. I am a good little boy scout and I follow regulations to the best of my ability.
-> Regulations slow things down.
-> My pharmacy is slow.

That doesn’t mean we do things intentionally slow to annoy you or stress you out. It means we’re slow because doing things the right way means allowing them to happen without the added stress of RUSH RUSH RUSHING.

When I took over this business from my parents, I wanted to change how we did things to avoid the stress I saw them create for themselves. We aren’t Domino’s Pizza or Amazon. We’re Culvers in a world of Taco Bells, feel me?

I have spent the better part of a decade slowing things down around here to avoid stupid mistakes, and have done a masterful job, if I do say so myself, compared to how things used to be pre-pandemic.

The pandemic illustrated the importance of setting boundaries, and being adamantly passionate about those boundaries. ( READ THIS: https://thecompounder.com/stressfree/ )

2. I spend extra money on giving you more than you paid for, to avoid you stressing out.
Which I hope allows you peace so you don’t stress ME out.

Every one month or two month supply you purchase from me, is dispensed with 5 extra grams.
For those using 0.5gm per day, that’s an extra TEN days.
For those using 1gm daily, that’s an extra FIVE days per container.

Every three month supply is dispensed with an extra 15gm, or 7.5gm per container.
THAT’S THIRTY EXTRA DAYS for you using 0.5gm daily, and 15 days for those using 1gm daily.

Why do I give you more than you paid for?
BECAUSE THE STRESS OF MAGICALLY PULLING YOUR CUSTOM MEDICATIONS OUT OF MY BUTT is impossible, and you deserve to live peacefully under the watchful support of the CMR wizards and staff.

When you stick to the schedule of
“APPOINTMENT @ CMR
-> SCRIPT @ TCP (that’s me)
-> LIVE LIFE FOR 3 MONTHS
-> REPEAT”

know that you have more than enough… if you fill your RX soon after your appointment.

Waiting until you’re “almost out” is asking for me to disappoint you.
And I don’t like disappointing you.
Seriously, it bothers me.

3. I must reiterate, I follow regulations, regulations take time to follow, therefore I am slow. Intentional intention.

4. Your failure to plan is not my emergency.

Not being smarmy, just being honest. I do my best to move things around when you’re in a pickle, but if every order is a pickle with you, I will explode. I would like to not explode, as I rather like feeling intact.

We aren’t open at night. We aren’t open on weekends. We aren’t open on Holidays. (INCLUDING ELECTION DAY EVERY NOVEMBER, ELECTION OR NOT.) We’re open 40 hours a week, which is enough in my opinion, even though I clock closer to 60, but I’m a freak.

5. I do my best so you can be your best.

But, I must keep reminding everyone, I cannot make magic happen “faster” without opening up the door to mistakes. I do things the way I do things, for many many many reasons. The most important reason is, outside of accuracy, I have an amazing staff to support and keep employed. If I speed through something and screw up and then have my business shut down, I have failed them. They are my priority.

6. We are a team.

CMR, you, me. We’re a team. I can’t do what I do without either of you. You have a choice where you spend your money, but I would be a poo face if I didn’t remind you that I’m really frickin’ good at what I do, I’m just not fast. And I can’t be fast. Without screwing something up.

7. Slow down.

The world is fast enough. You deserve calm. My people deserve calm.

I hope you’ve read all of my words and understand how much I love what I do.

If you’re new to CMR and working with me, welcome, I love you.

If you’re an old school CMR homie, I love you.

And if you’re my wife reading this (HI JULES!), your butt looks S’MAZING in those pants. *bites bottom lip*

love,
joel