We received a call from THE regulatory agency last week. I was being “invited” to a conference call scheduled for this morning at 11:00 am eastern time. I was out of town and missed the first call. Being the persistent bureaucrats, they called again yesterday and spoke to my wife. She asked what the topic was and but didn’t receive a clear answer – something about the compounded nicotine lollipops we have sold.

I received another call this morning about 10:00 central time asking if I was going to call in to participate in the conference call. The caller sounded like she was in a steel drum. Actually, it was a speaker phone. It was clear to me that she wasn’t alone. This was an interesting scenario playing out: numerous official-regulator-people against me.

The combined salaries of THE calling regulators was probably greater than my gross sales for a year. Regardless, they were interested in talking to me. I inquired about the topic and about how many people were on their end of the call. It seems there were “4 or 5” listening in. I voiced my concerns and THE regulators agreed to call back with more details about the topic of the conference call. Yes. They did what they said.

Again, the speaker phone was in play, so I turned mine on as well.

Four of THE agents introduced themselves. There may have been dozens more in the room, but I believed them when they said there were only four. Why would I doubt THE regulators?

After citing numerous documents from THE official regulations, I was informed that I could continue to make and sell lollipops if I complied with yadda, yadda, yadda. I said, “that isn’t going to happen, so we’ll just stop making the lollipops”. However, I asked to receive an official letter from THE regulators.

I figure I’d like to have something solid, in hand, to prove that I have accurately understood what THE regulators want me to do. Of course, I’ll comply. After all, THE regulators were concerned about a whopping 285 lollipops I’ve sold over the past two years – some of which were purchased by and analyzed by THE regulators.

In the end, it seems THE regulators have saved the day by getting me to stop the sale of nicotine lollipops without a direct prescription from a doctor.

I think nicotine supplements are a decent way to gradually cut back on cigarette smoking. The lollipop has advantages over the other products on the market. Some of the addiction associated with smoking is the involvement of the hands – putting the cigarette to the mouth, puffing, then moving the cigarette away. Sucking on a lollipop keeps the person’s hands busy while they get the dose of nicotine.

From my perspective, it’s far superior to slapping on a patch, chewing gum, or sucking on a lozenge. Where’s the hand involvement in those activities? From that perspective alone, I suggest that an excellent way to offset the nicotine from a cigarette is to use one of our lollipops. Ask your doctor to prescribe them and you can get started today.

Doctors can also prescribe one of the potent antidepressants, which have been claimed to help people quit smoking. The side effects of the drug might kill the user (or someone in their immediate vicinity), but that would be fine because it is approved by THE regulators and made by a drug company.

Still, to me, the lollipop seems the best and safest method.